Have you ever felt like you were hit squarely in the face by a lesson from an unexpected mentor? When they’re absolutely right…it usually hurts more, doesn’t it? But after the pain we are never the same.
A while back in Bel Air, CA, I was attending a casino night fundraiser for a friend-of-a-friend’s theater company. Since my friend was busy volunteering, I decided to use my time as a learning experience. Because I live in Las Vegas, casino jokes were flying my way. I’ve never been into gambling, so I’d never really taken the time to understand or learn how to play the dice game called “craps.”
But I had be curious for a long time how it worked because it never really made sense to me. So, I stood at the craps table and watched, listened, and asked questions. After observing for about 30 minutes, this little old lady with a spit-fire attitude walked up to me, looked me up and down, didn’t say a word, and placed her bet.
After she played a couple rounds of craps, she looked at me again, and asked, “What are you doing?” I smiled and said,”I’m learning the game…I’ve never played before. I don’t even know how to bet. I’m watching, asking questions, and learning.” With a scowl on her face she abruptly replied, “You say you want to learn. You’ll learn faster if you play. You have nothing in the game. You want to learn? Then get in the game! Play!“
I smiled, nodded in agreement… and continued my education my way. “What are you doing?” She barked even louder. I nervously laughed and said defensively, “I don’t know enough to play yet!” She shook her head in disgust and said,“Just put down some money, you’ll be surprised how fast you learn.” She turned to go, but stared me down and didn’t let me leave until I put money down. I said, “OK, OK I’ll put money in the game!”
Do you know what? She was right. Wisdom from years of experience usually is, wouldn’t you agree?
* * * * *
I won’t let up, either. I won’t turn my back on you, or walk away from you, either. (This is me talking to you now, you Sponge subscriber.)
I’m going to keep reminding you, until you put more in the game and have more at stake you won’t truly learn at the pace necessary to master something. From new software, to a new stage skill it works. Perpetual students will learn slowly. When you get a new insight, dive in and experience it incorrectly. My mentor, Dave taught me that anything worth doing tight is worth doing wrong first. Experience has not equivalent as a teacher.
Then, when you do, I’m going to tell you to put even more in.
Either get in the game, or move to another table.
Life is short.
If you want to connect better with your audience, speak more often and seek more feedback. If you want to be a professional speaker…speak even more, and crave even more feedback. Make even more mistakes.
Stop worrying about your next speech, and focus on getting to your five hundredth speech! A year from now, no one will be talking about the one that didn’t go perfectly. But — I can promise you — if you give 100 presentation live or online throughout that year…the year after that, you WILL be a transformed presenter. The world does not need another presenter. The world needs amazing presenters.
One lesson that little old lady with the attitude DIDN’T teach me…was when to stop. LOL. I kept winning for an hour. It was fun!
Then, I promptly lost it all. Ouch.
Although I left with no chips, I left with something much more valuable…a powerful, practical, life lesson.
I never caught her name, but I hope I’ll always remember her lesson:
You’ll learn faster when you get in the game.
The more you have invested the faster you will learn.
What is stopping you from putting more in the game?
Stage time,
Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champ of Public Speaking
Darren,
Good & important lesson. Thanks for keeping me motivated.
Excellent, excellent, excellent advice and a lesson for a lifetime! Excellent story too!
When I retire in 4 years, my plan is to be a professional speaker and I am learning so much valuable information and life lessons from your newsletter…thank you so much and yes, I must do at least 100 speeches per year each and every year and I am working on that starting this day!
Warmest,
Patricia Cotton, DTM, VPE
Lunch Bunch Toastmasters, #9511
Ouch! Good post.
Toastmasters is a great place to get the stage time but it can be a bit like observing or playing with Monopoly money instead of the real thing after a while. I’m not risking much inside a safe and extremely encouraging group. 🙂
Lisa Crum
2 speeches away from CC
Polaris Toastmasters, Columbus Ohio
I just wanted to say I had the opportunity of meeting you at a Toastmasters Convention in Canton, Ohio many years back. I was the Disc Jockey at the event. I started my business as a very shy person whom never thought I could get into the speaking or being in front of people. I worked for two different DJ’s to learn the trade. I decided it was time for me to start my own Disc Jockey Service. I remember someone telling me you just have to jump into it and invest. I realize now what they meant along with this story of the casino. life’s experiences. I wanted to say many times how I appreciated your CD’s. You went into overtime and gave me a set of CD’s. Listening to you that night, listening to CD’s, and your newsletters have really helped with building up the comfort of being in the spotlight. I have now been in busy over 17yrs. and going strong. Thanks for all your work in helping others overcome the fear of being in the spotlight, then having to open your mouth too.
Tom Knouff
Owner of Celebration In Sound
Massillon, Ohio
Notice that the story ended with you losing all your chips. Unlike craps, at least with the Speech Championship, you have that forever.
I like the way you can pay attention and collect good stories. I think that’s the single thing I’m missing – that and making some time to make notes about possible speech ideas.
Great Post Darren!
It goes well with your motto – “Stage Time” and my friend’s motto, “open mouth, get credit” – because one day, we all will if we are diligent about it and get in the game often!
Wonderful lesson!
You are right this is what happens with me each time I participate in a speech contest,than when I sit and listened to others speak. I learned more about what not to do stage time!
‘Listen up all those for whom ‘Call reluctance’ as the salesfolks say, is a problem. You hit the nail on the head Darren. With all the distractions of ‘Modern Technology’, Toastmaster Educational completions need to be a commitment in our career plans if we are to gain the satisfaction from challenging endeavors, and make progress in our personal and leadership development.
Way to GO!
Ken Marsh, PDG,
District 2,
Seattle International # 10, WA
Darren,
Words to live by. 2007/2008 I was District 24 Governor. I spoke more during my 2 year terms than I even had and I is true. The more you speak the better you are able to present your thoughts.
I’ll be using your quote from now on.
You’ll learn faster
when you get in the game.
The more you have invested
the faster you will learn.
Thanks
Chris W Czerwinski
Such a true statement. Early in my career, I had a supervisor who (by her own observation) told me it seemed I was always “getting ready to get ready”…. Same lesson. Since then (and it’s been over 20 years), whenever I’m feeling stuck, I simply make a move. Sometimes its right. Sometimes its wrong. I ALWAYS learn something. Thanks for the reminder!
You’ll learn faster when you get in the game.
The more you have invested the faster you will learn.
This reminds me of a song from the musical “Hamilton”: When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game. But you don’t get a win unless you play in the game. (Song is “The room where it happens.”)
Don’t you just LOVE it when a simple incident turns out to be the most profound lesson in life!
Thanks Darren for sharing it with us and also for your ears and eyes looking for a lesson in everything! Long live the little old lady’s lesson for us speakers and coaches!
Life Long Learner
Jennifer Leone, DTM