ASK!
The Most Overlooked Skill That Can Transform Your Speaking Career
By Darren LaCroix
One simple word can change a speaking career: ASK.
It sounds almost too basic. Yet, most presenters underestimate the power of asking for help, guidance, clarity, or mentorship. Here’s the truth: If you do not ask, the answer is already no.
On the Unforgettable Presentations Podcast, Mark Brown reminded me of the moment our own 24–year working relationship began. It was 2001. He had just delivered a keynote at a Toastmasters regional conference. I was the young guy in the front row in the crisp suit, taking notes as if my life depended on it. Afterward, with my heart pounding, I asked him a simple question.
“If I win today, would you be willing to work with me?” That question changed everything.
He said yes.
Asking Requires Courage
People often fear asking because they fear rejection, judgment, or appearing unprepared. But the greater danger is regret. When I asked Mark for help that day, I feared the regret of not asking more than the embarrassment of a ‘no.’
That question opened the door to a decades-long mentorship. But it also taught me a greater lesson. Asking boldly requires humility. Asking is an admission that you cannot grow alone.
The Answer Is Found in the Asking
Years earlier, after I bombed badly onstage, I called my comedy mentor, Rick Segel.
“Rick, I died up there! The audience hated me! Maybe I should quit!” His response was one word.
“So?”
What? I had no idea.
“Everyone bombs!”
That moment changed my perspective…and it only happened because I asked.
Asking is at the heart of community. Stage Time University is built on this principle. Community matters, but only if you choose to ask. The National Speakers Association offers resources, but only if you ask. Your mentors, peers, and colleagues can help you, but only if you ask.
Ask, But Ask the Right Way
Mark made an important distinction. Asking works when the ask is:
- Humble
- Genuine
- Respectful
- Coachable
Mentors want to help people who are willing to listen, learn, and follow through. Asking is not about trying to impress someone. It is about respecting their time, expertise, and the opportunity they give you.
That respect shows up in preparation. Several years ago, Hall-of-Fame speaker Alan Weiss, the author of more than 40 books, offered to let people take him to lunch and ask anything. I jumped at the opportunity, but I was terrified. So I wrote down every question ahead of time and committed to asking all of them. Afterward, he said, “You are the most prepared person I have ever had lunch with.”
He reinforced a powerful principle: The intent behind your ask matters.
The Get the Book Test
I now test a person’s readiness to be coached by telling them to buy a specific book. If they come back later asking more questions but never bought the book, I know they are not ready. If someone cannot invest 12 dollars and a few hours of reading, they are not ready for the deeper work.
Mentors are not there to do the work for you. They are guides. But the asking needs to be backed up with action.
Do Not Fear the “No”
Every experienced speaker receives far more requests for help than they can accept. Sometimes the answer is “no.” Sometimes there is no response. It is rarely personal. If someone cannot help, ask if they can recommend another person or another resource. Often, that recommendation is a better fit anyway.
Just do not quit asking.
Ask With Intention
Whether you are trying to grow your speaking business, improve a story, refine your keynote, or navigate a difficult client situation, the solution rarely appears on its own. The answer is in the asking.
Ask your peers.
Ask your mentors.
Ask your community.
Ask with respect.
Ask with humility.
Ask with a willingness to do the work.
Your growth depends on it.
If you’d like to ask for help delivering a presentation, join us for our upcoming ‘Own The Stage’ workshop, January 15, 16, and 17, 2026, onsite in Las Vegas, or online.
Remember, if you are going to take the time to prepare a presentation, make it unforgettable.
Work with Mark and Darren:
https://www.stagetimeuniversity.com/get-a-speaking-coach/
Check Out Stage Time University:
https://www.stagetimeuniversity.com
