Have you ever seen someone give a speech, and they weren’t connected to the audience? They were saying the words, but somehow you knew they were not fully “present.” Ever given one of those?
Do you know what’s happening? Many times, it means that the presenter is up in their own head, thinking of what they are going to ‘say’ next. You can’t be up in your head and ‘present’ with the audience at the same time.
It’s sad to see this when it happens at a Toastmasters club. It’s even more of a tragedy when we see it happening during a sales presentation for a good company with a good product. All that time and work, mostly wasted. It’s even more of a loss when the speaker gets feedback on the speech… and instead of incorporating the feedback, goes off and writes a completely new speech. Part of the problem is the speech was written on the way to the meeting or the slides were thrown together on the plane as the presenter traveled to the presentation. What a waste!
That’s bad enough, but it can get worse. The same can happen when a speaker steals a speech from the internet or from a Chicken Soup for the Soul book. I don’t know why people think this is acceptable. I guess they just have a different perspective than I do. Besides just being ethically wrong, it actually slows down your growth as a presenter. You’re not learning “the process” of looking within your own life experience to help others.
What is the real problem behind the delivery?
You don’t own your presentation.
I loved an e-mail that came from Jeremy Robinson, one of my Stage Time subscribers. I asked his permission to make reference to it in this article. Jeremy is a lawyer from the UK. He said that he had learned from Phillip Khan-Panni that when you give a speech, you are giving yourself, your time, and your wisdom to your audience – it is a gift.
Jeremy also said that in Law in the UK, he had learned:
“Nemo dat quod non habet.”
Meaning… that you can’t give what you don’t own. Jeremy’s example to me: I can’t sell my house if it is not mine to start with.
So, (if I may use the legal jargon) we surmise that you can’t give a speech unless you own it. So don’t waste time, slow down your growth, or blow a sales presentation. There’s no point in copying someone else’s speech or idea. And, throwing a speech together on the way to a meeting will not be a speech that you own. So you can’t really ‘give’ it.
There’s a big difference between saying words from the stage, and owning a speech. The audience can tell. I was asked to give my winning speech, “Ouch!” at an NSA Conference the year after I won. A few months later, one of my mentors attended a conference overseas and told me that a speaker ‘copied’ my famous fall and tried to make it his own. When confronted, he claimed that he had never seen my speech. He later admitted the truth. I don’t know who the speaker was, and I don’t care. Who did his actions effect more, me or him? Who did it define more, me or him?
My biggest speech coaching client in Boston now requires their sales people to go through their presentation slides with a colleague before making the presentation to their customers. The pressures and demands on their day-to-day client services position makes this extremely difficult, but they do it anyway. Why? It gets them close to owning it before they’re in front of that all-important audience. Is your audience important?
If you want to truly give a speech, you must own it first.
Will you abide by the law?
Same goes for speeches people make in Toastmasters’ contests. If you tell someone else’s story, and don’t include any of your own, it is a much less powerful speech.
Good article Darren. My only comment on lack of preparation is “if your gonna prepare an hour before, the least you can do is not brag about it after the meeting!” It really is an insult to your audience. I will never forget that you said “there is no such thing as improve when it comes to speaking”…Thanks for simple yet powerful messages!
Absolutely true, Darren. I can think of several speeches that I have heard that didn’t ring true to me – because the speaker wasn’t owning it. I can also think back to my own speeches – and my “owned” speeches. The absolute best ones were the ones that I truly owned. Not that I have used someone else’s speech – and I could certainly never use a fall in the same wonderful way that you did (nor would I try). However, the ones that I didn’t own were the ones that, as you say, were put together at the last minute without the commitment and “buy in”.
Thanks for putting into words what I knew – somewhere in my head and heart – If I don’t buy into it, I can’t own it.
This has been a great reminder to recommit to my commitment – to myself and to my audience. Thanks!
Great advice, Darren. Last year I was selected by a company to be a presenter of their approved presentation. I was told that I could add my ideas and stories to the speech. Unfortunately when I did the speech in their training session, I was told that I varied from their lawyer-approved material. Well duh! That’s the only way it would have been credible and anthentic. How can a company expect to succeed with this approach. I told them I was not a windup doll and left the program.
Thanks for this incredible information. You are right. I remember when I was an AREA GOVERNOR.
I just do an impromptu on my way to the meeting and never owned it. So when I planned to be a DISTRICT GOVERNOR of ALOHA DISTRICT 49 (HAWAII), I prepared so many different types of speeches and rehearsed before I went to any meeting that I experienced my OWNING THEM. With sincere THANKS and GRATITUDE! I emailed this to some of my fellow TMS since we have a meeting tonight. ALOHA and MAHALO! REMY RIBOROZO
Recently the ideas of emotional intelligence, IQ and our various intelligences have been running through my mind. Recently I watched a new Toastmaster compete in the Evaluation contest in a way that I had never seen before. He was able to discern and relate on a more emotional level. I saw him pick up on insincerity and lack of prparation as well as other observations that were obvious after he pointed them out!. I truly appreciate your comments and the feedback here.
I read and always appreciate the content and intent in all your Stage Time articles, and this was no exception. (But please, learn to differ between “effect” and “affect.” – That’s an “Ouch!”)
Darren – I’ve been a Toastmaster since October, 1971, and in all of that time, this is one of the best pieces of advise I’ve ever heard. Although I’ve never pulled a Joe Biden with someone else’s speech, I’ve been guilty of giving “stoplight” speeches (Joel Weldon’s term for speeches written while at a stop light on your way to your meeting. I’ve also “winged” more sales presentations than I would prefer to admit. No more. From now on I will own ALL of my presentations.
Thanks for this very valuable advise.
Ted Pawlikowski
Absolutely, Darren. At Toastmasters we want to develop ourselves not to copy others! In my experience, I realize that delivering a speech based on elements and facts from my own life have been very successful as they come from my heart and they connect with the hearts of those in the audience.
Ranee
P.S. Once, as grammarian, at one of our meetings, I used the words ‘effect vs affect’ – it was effective as it had affected some of our members!
About ten years ago (in my pre-Toastmaster days), my boss’s boss asked me to give his presentation at a Conference Board event in NYC. He had a PR background and his slides showed it. I don’t have a PR background and I decided to use my own animated presentation with video. My presentation was an amazing success that resulted in a 300-person standing ovation. I will never forget that moment and I think it’s because I had the courage to put myself out there.
Amen to that Darren. My best speeches come from personal experience. The best ones, as Rranee writes, come from the heart. Why do these work best for me? Because I can relate to what I am saying. Having experienced what I am speaking about allows me to be authentic, honest, and always remain in integrity with myself and with my audience.
When I am able to ‘feel’ and ‘express’ my experiences with my own words, it is as though an ‘instant’ connection is established between myself and the audience. I don’t need to worry about getting the order of my stories or the words right because it is something that I know inside out!
If I do want to use elements in a speech which come from someone else I make it a point to give credit to the original author (where possible).
Those who feel they need to ‘steal’ other speakers ideas to succeed haven’t yet understood what it really means to be a speaker.
What better gift to give your audience than of yourself? 🙂 Be creative, be original, but most importantly: BE YOURSELF.
What does it really mean to “own” a speech? How will we know when we own it?
I entirly agree Darren.
On the same theme, when you completely own the sppech (all your own material) and you have practiced the speech but somehow you are not in the moment. We see actors who have to deliver their lines word for word, yet they look totally natural. How do you achieve that same quality in a speech?
Great catch, I will tell me editors, Affect vs Effect— grammar not my strong point, I had 2 people read over for me…
Stephen, Own your speech —
When you are more concerned with audience getting your message, than what you are going to say next…
Comes from your heart, and your experience, and your Ah has. That help?
You really don’t own it the first few times you do it. You may own “pieces of it.”
Stage time,
-Darren
Besides adhering to the law, you give your audience the best presentation when you use your own experiences.
You must live too, not just work, to get those experiences. People like to know you’re real and that you are willing to share your own experiences. “Be yourself,” as Darren says.
Having said that, there’s nothing wrong with a speaker quoting an authority, giving appropriate credit, when it relates to his or her own speech.
Make the rest of the content your own.
Thanks for the mention above (via Jeremy Robinson). My wife has always said that the two best speeches I made in District 71 Finals were those is which I visibly connected with the audience, speaking directly TO them rather than AT them.
And, of course, the messages I conveyed belonged to me, deriving from my personal set of beliefs and values.
In the training I do, I tell people that what people want from a speaker is their WISDOM — not the facts, not the information, not even the Knowledge, but their personal ‘take’ on it. Their Wisdom.
Dear Darren,
Thank you for your message, I would agree with your article. I had delivered a speech, which was absolutely copied from other speakers and also I had delivered another speeches which was my own wordings speech, believe me I got 1st prize for my own wordings speech.
How far it is true your article.
Regards
Moidu