Ever been bored in a waiting room? During my visit to Singapore awhile back, I had an unexpected visit to the hospital. (No worries! I’m fine now!) While I was there, I got a little bored, and started thinking about the mask I was wearing. I was wondering whether people could “see” if I was smiling or not. So, with lots of time on my hands, I took out my iPhone and snapped a few photos. Check out the pictures, can you tell?
When I looked at the pics, a big “ah-ha” hit me! It’s our eyes that convey the emotion even more than our “gestures.”
Audiences are savvy. Our eyes speak the truth. We are more powerful telling stories on stage when the emotions in our eyes match what we’re saying. Power comes from congruity. Congruity allows connection.
That’s why I’m not a fan of “gestures.” Using “gestures” means that you’re choreographing your body to do something without the emotions behind it. I don’t teach people to do “gestures.” Instead, I teach them to think of the emotion of the character and let their body express that emotion.
Think for a moment about animated movies. Pop one in for 5 minutes, or turn on the Disney Channel. Can you see how, although it’s only a two dimensional image, the characters express more emotion than most speakers? Pay attention to how they do it. The shape of their eyelids and the area around the eyes varies based the emotions of the character.
Your eyes are speaking louder than you are.
Are you even aware of what your eyes are saying?
Have you watched them on video during one of your presentations?
Stage time,
Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking
P.S. I’ll be doing a whole program on this subject at the Lady & the Champs Speakers’ Conference because it is that important. Today is the last day to take advantage of the Early Bird Registration.
P.P.S. I get so excited when people make things happen! When I heard Dennis Bauer tell his story at one of our boot camps, I told him how powerful it was and encouraged him to turn it into a book. He did! Congrats to Dennis!
WORLD CHAMPION SPEAKER
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Stage Time: "Eyes" Just Saying…
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Hi Darren,
Glad you are fine and very well done on making great use of some down time.
I am totally agreement regarding gestures.
Sharon
HI Darren,good message.
In my travels though life I have found that I can say I LOVE YOU . more effectivly with my eyes than the words. The eyes truly are the window to the soul.
Ask your self this question next time you think someone of oppiset sex is THE ONE.What color are her eyes?
When I really want to hear what a speaker is saying and take the message in, I look into their eyes as they speak.
HERE’S LOOKING AT YOU.
Blessings , PAPA SOOB
Hello Darren,
Very good point.
I am going to use your example at a Toastmasters Youth Leadership program.
My plan is to give each person a mask and ask them to express different emotions using only their eyes.
We will see if the audience can identify the emotion.
Gary
Ooopppsss, YOU did it again! (thinking in “songs” ever since you made us do the exercise at Humor Boot Camp..lol..)…very deep observation, true connection happens through the eyes! Years back I had a coach teach me to be in front of a mirror for ten minutes each day learning how to connect to myself. It took a while to be comfortable with it and now it supports me to look others in the eye with out fear. Thanks for reminding me that I have great skills to accomplish my dreams!
Stellar stuff Darren!
The eyes are the gateway to the soul. I agree with you and love the pics to back it up!
If your heart is in the right spot then it’s easy to allow that sincerity and genuine-ness to pour from your eyes.
Thx for the insight!
Gee, Darren, when you get bored you do the weirdest things! But you’re absolutely right. It is the eyes. I’ve noticed it for years in family photos. I guess the challenge is to get our eyes to connect with the audience. My thinking is that means really believing in the power of what you have to say when you give a speech. It will come through.
Great column, Darren. Every time I see a “DTM” doing “gestures”, I think of when I was a kid in Sunday School singing songs with “motions”. So contrived. I am going to try watching some cartoons and looking for emotions. But I have already noticed it on Jack-In-The-Box commercials. Jack (the clown) is amazing in his communication just by painting different eye and mouth shapes on his plastic head. You’re the best!
Art
Club 902581 – Improv@Toastmasters
Pomona, CA
You’re absolutely right about the eyes. I have had more people come up to me after a speech or storytelling commenting about my eyes versus any other gesture. After one story I did a woman came up afterwards and said, “I could see the expression in your eyes and I was following it to see what would happen next!” She saw the twinkle in my eye as the story evolved and could anticipate the humor.
Scott Leonard
District 65, Eastern Division Governor
and Stone Storyteller Troupe