Have you ever been impatient? Ever wonder if some of your goals will ever come to fruition? Me, too. Perhaps you remember being a newbie at a professional association and seeing the mentors on stage in front of the group. Maybe, somewhere in the back of your mind, a tiny little dream seed was planted, and you knew that you wanted some day to become that mentor that everyone is talking about. You aren’t alone. Not even close.
In the 1990’s when I first came to Toastmasters and the National Speakers Association, I had that dream. I thought, “How cool would it be to be the one up there in front of thousands of people?” In those days I was also immersing myself in listening to educational tapes. Among my favorite and most influential were my recordings from Brian Tracy.
To this day I can still hear much of his advice running through my head. One memorable bit of wisdom was Brian’s quote from Abraham Lincoln. After losing an election, Lincoln said,
“I will study and prepare myself,
and someday my chance will come.”
That has stuck with me. It has now even become a reality in my career. After being a member of both organizations for over twenty years, I recently got confirmation that I will be the opening speaker for the Toastmasters International Convention at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas this summer. Wow. That is cool. I’m not trying to brag. I’m saying this because often it is easy to think that our hard work and service are not being noticed. If your intentions are good and you are putting in a lot of effort, chances are people are noticing.
It is reminds me of my early days of playing football in high school. I was not very talented, nor did I work harder than everyone else, so I did not stand out for three years. For three years I sat on the bench as a second string player. It was in the summer before my senior year that I decided enough was enough. I started lifting weights, running four miles a day, going to summer training at a local college, and putting more intensity into the practices with my team. When the season started, I was still not a starter, but I could tell that my efforts were being noticed. When the starters were not performing to their potential, the coaches started looking around the sideline for better solutions. I studied, I prepared myself, and on the third game of the season my chance came.
Full disclosure: my attitude has not always been so wholesome. I went though a period of time when I was jealous seeing other speakers get their chance when I felt I deserved the spot. Have you ever felt that way?
Mr. Lincoln did not say, “I will be jealous and bitter because I’m better than they are.” Many times I had to catch myself and remember the Abram Lincoln quote. It got me back on track, making me a better teacher and speaker. Our energy and effort should be forward in the direction of our goal, rather than backwards toward feeling entitled. Instead of thinking, “They should…,” consider thinking, “Why should they?”
Intention and persistence usually pay off but not always in the short term. Instead of politicking to get invited to be a featured speaker, work twice as hard to become the leading expert in your industry. It doesn’t matter what you think. It is about industry perception. When everyone in the industry starts thinking and noticing that you are the best, then you are.
Thank you, Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Tracy. If you ever feel impatient when you don’t see the fruition of your dream on the horizon, keep this in mind. I’ve still never had the main stage at N.S.A. for more than seven minutes. That’s cool. Though I dreamed of doing it at Toastmasters, the little 1994 wannabe Darren didn’t really think it was possible. Now, over two decades later, it will happen. On a side note, I believe the main stage is just a privilege earned as a result of what you do on the small stage and how you act off-stage. If you are impatient waiting for your change, what could you study and do to prepare more with that same energy, whatever your dream is. Whether you present to five people in a boardroom or to one hundred people at a conference, you never know if someone in the audience might be someone who can recommend you. Some of my smallest presentations have led to my biggest clients. As for N.S.A., I will study and prepare myself, and some day my chance will come. How about you?
Please share your thoughts below and read comments from other readers.
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Thank you for this blog post! Excellent reminder for everyone that the path to lasting success is hard work sprinkled with humility.
Darren,
Thank you for this post. It is amazing to read about experience and learning from you all the while. Patience pays and it has for you. Congratulations on being selected as the first speaker at the Toastmasters Annual Convention this August, Las Vegas. I wanted to come, however I am out of a job now and am looking out for one – so may not be able to make it. Also, I participated in the International speech but could not qualify at District level. But I shall try and watch you online during the convention. All the very best Sir.
Regards
Balaji Nagabhushan, DTM
Star of Arabia Chapter, Area 33,
Division J, District 20
United Arab Emirates
Dearest Darren
Your example of caring and excellence have made me proud to be a Toastmaster. Your personal career is a wonder to behold.
Please know how important your Sharing is to all that are ready to hear. Bobby Williams past District 33 Gov. (Big Fan)
Dear Darren,
I’m looking forward to seeing you at the Opening Ceremony and learning more from you! Congratulations on one of your stretch goals coming to fruition!
Carol Kormelink
I know you will remember 3 years ago when you wiped away my tears and reminded me that I could reach people that you couldn’t and that’s why you do what you do.
In the time since, I’ve worked very hard in learning the craft and see that I still have a ton to learn. I’ve been up and down, thinking I was all that, wondering if I was anything at all. Impatient slow learner that I am Darren, I’m finally seeing that it really IS all about the message and WHY you want to give it in the first place. Is it to share hard-won wisdom? To elevate others? To give hope to the hopeless? If the motive is true, the opportunity will come. I believe that. Need seeks out need.
I am still recognizing the jealous in me too and working to use it as a tool. I have found in the past that even telling someone that I felt jealous and WHY was quite a compliment to that person. It also expels the jealousy and sometimes the person even helps me reach the goal of obtaining more of their desired qualities.
I just submitted an application for a Ted-style event in the Vancouver area with an intent to share my STORY for the first time ever. I cannot tell you how scary that is to me and how exciting it is. I have had enough positive feedback though to let the exciting outweigh the scary by just enough.
You were kind of my launching pad Darren. I owe so much to you. I thank you for your transparency in who you are as a person, which is who you are as a speaker. You have helped me grow in so many ways and I am so grateful.
with love,
Paula
Dear Darren,
Thank you again for thinking! The depth of insight that you bring from your everyday experiences is incredible education for those who are actually living life to the full…and hopefully, encouragement to those who are on the cusp of life’s best journey.
I am thrilled for your “Stage Time” in Las Vegas. ‘wish I could be there to see you, just as I did “when you fell on your face” and won our World Championship. I may not be there in person, but I will be there in thought…rooting for your success and cheering you on.
My old friend, Bobby Williams, Past D-33 Governor, who left a message for you here will surely be there! I’m so happy to see that, he too, is still living life to the full!
Keep up the good work, Darren, and Break A Proverbial Leg in August. Best Regards, r
Darren,
Great post. You had me with Brian Tracy. I’ve been a fan of his for longer than I can remember. He’s influenced me greatly. And now you are influencing me greatly. I just told you story of working with Vinnie F. to someone just a few days ago.
I’m putting in the effort speaking whenever I can to groups large and small. I’m steadily getting better and will keep working at it as you suggest. Maybe one day I’ll get noticed by somebody who can put me on a bigger stage. Thanks for being an inspiration and a teacher.