Email this article to a friend

If you were standing outside the diner a couple of weeks ago with my comedy mentor, Vinnie Favorito, and me, you would have heard him say something that was absolutely shocking! He was excited about his new Volvo convertible, and I was getting sappy and reflecting on our dreams and how far we had both come from our early days in Boston comedy. Every comic’s dream is to have his own headliner show, center strip in Las Vegas. Vinnie now does. I asked him, “Are you ever surprised that you made it this far?” He instantly — and in a very matter-of-fact manner — replied, “No.”

He didn’t even hesitate! He said he’d always known he would “make it.” He never had a doubt. Wow!

I wish I could say that. My whole path has been riddled with doubt. Do you have any doubt about your dream?

It’s OK to have doubt. Just don’t focus on it. Instead, direct your focus to the “next step” that’ll take you towards that dream. I have friends whom I love and care about, but who secretly drive me crazy.

One friend, in particular, tells me about her vision of speaking to thousands of woman and sharing her story of abuse. She can see the vision so clearly, she can feel it! She is very passionate, and I believe she will help many. Let’s call her Patty. Patty’s heart is in the right place. But, it’s her footsteps that bother me.

Patty has never given a speech before. That’s OK. We all have to start somewhere, but the important thing is to start. Some of you might be thinking, “What about Toastmasters?” I’ve introduced her to Toastmasters! In fact, I’ve personally introduced her to several friends in my home club, to make sure she feels welcome and comfortable. She attended a club meeting once. That’s it. Once. Now, when I ask her about going back, I hear excuses like, “That night is my workout night…”

Two things about this bother me. First, she has a great message and a passion for helping others. Even while learning to speak, there are people at Toastmasters clubs that need to hear those stories and messages. She could be helping people along her journey, as she grows.

The second thing that bothers me is that her children are watching. They learn by example. They hear what we say, and they really “register” what we do. It’s so clear to me that if you want to be a speaker… you need to speak! If you want to be a great speaker… speak more! If you want to really impact your audience, never turn down “stage time.”

Friends and family will support our dreams, though secretly may be jealous. At the same time, they are watching our “steps” — or lack of them. People don’t like to be told what to do, unless they are truly asking for advice. I find that people are inspired by action. Are you inspiring people around you with your own courage?

Next steps can be scary. In the case of my friend, Patty, I don’t want to help anymore — until she takes a step. If she’s not willing to take the first step, why should I spend time explaining the second? When I went to my mentors, I didn’t even think of asking for a next step until I had completed the first. For me, it was respect of their time.

I have never before used two quotes in an issue of Stage Time. But, these two just seemed to build perfectly upon one another.

“Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.”
~ Jim Rohn

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”
~ Jim Rohn

There are many ways that a vision can come to fruition. What if Patty’s vision does come true, and she gets the opportunity to speak to thousands of people?

Here is the “even scarier” part to me…

Patty is a good writer, has great content, and is wonderful and helpful. What if — through writing and consulting — Patty gets this chance to speak in front of thousands? It could definitely happen. The scary part is that speaking in front of a live audience is very different from writing or dealing with people one-on-one. Nerves can get in the way of communicating the message. In my opinion, a golden opportunity to influence & make a difference would be missed because she wouldn’t be “prepared” with experience. The best content — and the best intentions — can be blocked by nerves.

Whatever you want to accomplish, ask someone who has been there to share with you the best “next step” to getting there. Then take the step. It’s OK to be nervous and scared. That’s normal and natural. If these steps weren’t scary, everyone would take them! I always say, “If you take away my struggle, you take away my growth.”

Your kids are watching. What are they seeing?

Maybe you’re like Vinnie, and you knew exactly where you’d be… with no doubt. If so, excellent! If you’re like me, and you have a dream with an occasional doubt, just focus on taking that next step.

Ask yourself,

“Am I dreaming by example?”

“How far would someone go while following in my footsteps?”

“What step will I take this week?”