Many people writing speeches tell me, “My speech is done, I just need to add some humor.” Though I understand the sentiment, it is wrong. You don’t “add” humor. Fellow World Champion, Craig Valentine said it best. “You don’t add humor, you uncover it.”

This weekend in Vancouver I was presenting Humor and Hope. I mentioned in my early days of teaching humor a student came up to me on break at the Humor Boot Camp and said, “I know you are talking about finding humor in our personal stories, but nothing funny happens to me!”

When I first heard this I laughed. Then I suddenly realized the student, Ms. Bitter, was being serious. She could understand why my first reaction was to laugh. It seemed odd to her that I would find that funny.

In those days of my own learning, I thought this woman was wrong. Funny things happen to all of us. The more I studied humor the more I learned how dead on correct she was. You see, nothing funny does happen to her because she doesn’t “see it” as funny.

“Humor is in the mind of the beholder.”

Humor does not happen out there, it takes place in your own mind. It is directly connected to your perception. Consider, do you see funny things, or do you see things funny?

For example. When I was presenting at a conference at the Rio in Las Vegas, there are several long hallways between the sleeping rooms and the meeting rooms. It is a long walk that takes literally twenty minutes. I over heard in the hallways attendees quietly complaining about the long walk. Noticing what was going on I took the stage and said, “Welcome t the Rio, what a beautiful hotel (applause). You may not know this, but Rio is actually a native American term meaning long flipping hallway.”

The audience roared. I created a connection. I released the tension that was on the forefront of their mind. Can you see that was funny to them? They were on the frustration side of it. “To them” are the key words in that sentence. Now, what if there was someone not staying in the hotel who had parked just outside the door of the meeting room? They probably wouldn’t get it, unless they were aware of the situation or had spoke to others how did have to walk that far.

People ask me for advice about writing funny speeches. As I learned from teacher/comedian, Judy Carter, you write from your own frustrations and pet peeves. That is the starting point. That is where the humor gold is. Want to make people laugh, tell stories about your failures and your embarrassing moments. In my championship speech my topics included: my Subway Sandwich shop failure, bombing on stage, telling my speechless parents I wanted to be a comedian and my brother only laughing at me when I told him I wanted to be a comedian. Those were not magical moments in my life. In those failures were seeds of humor potential. It is said by many professional speakers that we have the rare career that when tragedy happens it often is great fodder for speeches.

“God did not give me the gift of making people laugh, he gave me the persistence to learn how.”

When speaking at the American Association of Therapeutic Humor I went even deeper than I can in this one article. I turned it into a brand new DVD called: Laugh & Let Go. I was telling the audience, my comedy mentor told me that when he was in his cancer support group with his fellow patients they would laugh together about the most disgusting things. When a single family member would sit in on a group meeting it would change the dichotomy of the meeting and there would be less laughter. Because somehow they were not comfortable with the very personal humor and tension relief. People need to laugh and to be encouraged to do so. Humor is such a powerful coping mechanism. It doesn’t take away the seriousness of the subject, in fact a great sense of humor can help you to see through the stress to find a way out.

I believe that comedy cuts down and humor lifts spirits up because it relieves tension. I’m so thankful for my start in stand-up comedy and it definitely has it’s place. For me, I found my calling is inspiring people and relieving tension with humor.

In my car I keep a sign handy that was given to me by one of my students. It just says: Laugh. At stoplights I sometimes hold it up for my brief neighbor in the car next to me. The reactions I get differ greatly. Some people smile, some laugh out loud and nudge their fellow passengers.

If you can find Waldo, you can find more humor in your life. It is there right in front of you, but you’ll only see it if you look for it. Steve Allen said, “Comedy equals tragedy plus time.” You are probably familiar with the idea when a tragedy happens we will laugh about this someday. My suggestion, Laugh sooner.

Stage time, Stage time, Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
World Champion Speaker

.

P.S. Ever thought about having your own seminars or being a trainer? Want the secrets to making it simple and leaving a lasting impression, so you get rehired? Join master trainer, Ed Tate, and me for the TRAIN-the-TRAINER Champ Camp in Las Vegas on May 26th & 27th.

Come a day early and join us for the One-Day, Two Champ SPEAKING SCHOOL on May 25th!

I get emails. . .

This email came from Greg Parker. (Shared with permission.)

Darren I just want to thank you for all your emails that provide daily motivation. Also last year you and Ed Tate came to talk to us in California. I am in District 12 for Toastmasters. I just won the District level competition and will be on my way to Florida. I used what you provided us about humor and Ed Tates attention grabber. Please pass to him my thanks I beleieve that was what may have won it for me. I now have a lot of work ahead of me so I can win for 2012. I am up for the challenge though. The last three months have been great; retired at 20 years as a Marine, finished my Masters degree, and won the district competition. Not bad for a boy from Massachusetts that had nothing.
Again thank you. Time to get to work on my speeches.
Greg Parker

At this conference, I sat in on two sessions of other professional speakers. They were quite different in content and styles. The first speaker, I’ll call Mr. Charisma. He was full of life and vibrant. He was funny and charismatic. The audience loved him. He had them in rapt attention.

The second speaker had a very different style. They could not have been more polar opposites. He was humble and sincere and had a powerful personal story. Mr. Sincere was very conversational and the audience loved him, too. As a speaker coach, it really made me think, who was more effective? Which speaker truly delivered more value?

It was plain to see that they were each being themselves and true to their own style. In my opinion, neither one could effectively adapt the other’s style strength. It would not come across well. For example, Tony Robbins would not be authentic if he tried to speak like Brian Tracy and vice versa. Both are master communicators.

Every presenter is different because every person is different. Many of us emulate our speaking heroes at the beginning of our journey and eventually discover that being authentic leaves a more lasting impression as well as being simpler and much more fun.

In this situation, I have to say that from my experience the audience loved Mr. Charisma and thought he was a great speaker. The irony was even though he had some great points and was funny, that is what the audience left thinking, “He was great.” Not the best service to his audience. A few people approached him after to shake his hand and meet him.

They may have left with a couple good ideas and he was good, but as Paul Harvey would say, “Now, for the rest of the story.” This speaker achieved national fame and has been speaking longer than I have. One of his points was about being a champion and always improving. From my brief conversation with him after the speech, I didn’t get the impression he lived that philosophy about his speaking. I believed he gets great well-deserved compliments because he is charismatic.

From what I’ve learned from great speaker coaches such as Patricia Fripp, what was really missing from his presentation was good structure. The ideas and information he shared would have been more digestible and left a more lasting impression on his audience. They would have loved him and also left thinking more about what they could do to make some positive changes in their lives. Though his intentions were good, if we believe in the importance of your message, we can’t stop at good enough. We must remain a student and make sure the audience leaves with clarity and “gets it.”

Mr. Sincerity lived an inspiring life up against a challenging adversity. He is new to speaking and because of his story he was asked to speak. Not being formally, trained he came with the intention of just having a conversation and helping people. He was low key and sincere. He opened up and told his truth. Though he was not polished, he was “real” and he was able to laugh at himself and his situation. His intention was to “help people” and use his story to do so. Two distinct differences I observed. More people lined up to speak to him after. Many patiently waited for quite a long time to tell him their story or to ask a question. It was interesting.

The biggest difference to me was when Mr. Sincerity found out my background, he was eager to ask me questions. We ended up sitting down and having lunch where he asked many more questions about speaking. In the business world, he is much more accomplished than I am. It’s no wonder why, he was so eager to learn what I knew from my experience. He was very open to coaching.

What audience members do or think after you speak is a better gauge of our value. Sitting and observing then told me a great deal about impact. Mr. Sincerity’s impact was powerful. What impressed me was for his level of experience, that was impressive. One woman was so inspired, she was in tears. She was ready to make a change in her life and Mr. Sincerity was just what she needed.

Both presentations could have been even more powerful with better speech structure. That’s why I’ve spent the last couple years working with Patricia Fripp and developing a new program, Create Your Keynote by Next Week, due to be released next month. Authentic charisma and sincerity are important characteristics for great speakers. Neither work in a vacuum. Having an “audience-focused” outcome as your intention and good structure combined with charisma and/or sincerity is the ultimate goal.

In the situation I observed, I’d have to say that Mr. Sincerity left a more lasting impact even though he was less experienced on the platform. I believe that many loved Mr. Charisma, but left thinking more about how good he was and how “likeable.” My point to you is this — there is much more to great speaking. Neither stands alone. You can be very sincere and still not leave a lasting impression. You also bring to the platform who you are as a person. The outcome could have been just the opposite in this situation. What I loved to see is that Mr. Sincerity was “coachable.” He wanted to learn more and be better on the platform next time. Do you?

Putting aside this situation, all things being equal, I believe I’d choose sincerity over charisma. The raw truth is more helpful to the audience. If the goal of the presentation is just to have people “feel good,” I’d choose charisma.

What do you think is better, charisma or sincerity? Any good stories or observations to share?

Post your response and read others here on my blog!

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
World Champion Speaker

.

P.S. Ever thought about having your own seminars or being a trainer? Want the secrets to making it simple and leaving a lasting impression, so you get rehired? Join master trainer, Ed Tate, and me for the TRAIN-the-TRAINER Champ Camp in Las Vegas on May 26th & 27th.

Come a day early and join us for the One-Day, Two Champ SPEAKING SCHOOL on May 25th!

I get emails . . .

Hi Darren,

I hope this email finds you well. I just finished the 365 days of quotes yesterday and then go this email….and since you crave feedback, here is some on the quotes program! :)

I loved the quotes – they had a range from business to self help/motivation to spiritual, which I think everyone will get something from each quote. What I really appreciated was when you put your own comments/reflections below the quote. The questions (that are on every quote) are good but after a while I stopped reading them because, even though I can’t tell you what they are right now, my mind was like, Oh, I’ve read these. Know what I mean? But when you wrote something personal, the quote and your comment seemed to stay with my longer. As an added bonus, I think that the reader gets to know you a little better, and therefore you are earning there trust.

Personally, I related most to the spiritual quotes (loved how they came from different backgrounds) because without the spiritual the business and other ‘stuff’ doesn’t really matter. :)

Thank you for putting these quotes together and supporting people to make the world a more loving place. I appreciate your work, Darren. 

My best to you,
Trisha

Get your quotes, click: www.365InspirationalQuotes.com

Sometimes we think of it as “our” presentation. It’s actually “their” presentation. It’s also helpful to remember that there are people seated in front of you who are there for other purposes than the “intent” of the presentation.

Yesterday, I received this email from Les, who was in my audience in Pittsburgh a few months ago. (Shared with permission):

Hi Darren,

Thank you so much for being you! You gave a speech in Pittsburgh to Toastmasters a few months back. I bought one of you packs, with a DVD, CDs and book. It is not my goal to be a public speaker. I am a new publisher and author and thought I might find value in your teachings that could transfer to other communication goals. While you spoke about the focus on the audience and what they hear and want to take away really hit home. Customer service does not come intuitively to me yet I know it is the most critical piece of any successful business.

Prior to your speech I had a sticky note on my computer screen stating “You have just made my day. Thank you!” as a reminder to see through others’ eyes and to learn to make being gracious a habit. After your speech, I began writing “you” A LOT more, and after listening to one of the CDs I have added “Stop old habits” to the bottom of that sticky note. That one has been incredibly useful in time management. The “you” has really helped me find my written voice.

I am a better sales person; write better blogs, tweets, and speeches for writers and Toastmasters; and my fiction writing has even improved. All due to your wonderful message. Though I am still learning, please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you.

With gratitude,
Les

What Les took away was a powerful lesson I learned from Patricia Fripp. It was about the power of the word “you” when communicating. It first began with the awareness that Patricia created when teaching me to look at my “I/You Ratio” …meaning, how many times we say “I” vs. how many times we say “you” in a speech.

In my opinion, when we say the word “you,” it’s like reaching out into our audience and pulling them in. It engages their thoughts — which, these days, we have to do constantly while speaking because minds are so prone to going off on tangents if we allow them to be bored for even a few moments.

This was reinforced last month while speaking in Australia with Janelle Barlow, President of the Global Speakers Federation. She blew me away with her analysis of Barack Obama’s speaking style. She dissected the speeches of Hillary Clinton and John McCain the night President Obama won. She discovered that Clinton and McCain said “I” twice as much as Barack Obama on that same night!

Are you aware of how many times you say “I” vs. “you?” As Ed Tate says, audience members are constantly thinking, “So what? Who cares? What is in it for me?” Even in the District speech contest this last weekend, after a few of the contestants, people were wondering what was in it for them.

The first words in my winning speech were, “Can you remember a moment when a brilliant idea popped into your head? It was perfect for you.” I believe I said the word “you” or “your” 34 times in almost eight minutes. That’s more than four times per minute. Now, I’m not saying four per minute is the magic number — I’m saying just be aware of your ratio. I challenge you to listen to one of your speech recordings and count your “I”s and “yous.” It may just surprise you.

This doesn’t mean we don’t say the word “I” ever. We want to hear your story. We also want to know how we can relate to the lesson you learned and how we can apply it to our lives. It’s not your story — it’s about how your story can affect our lives. Remember, it’s not about “you” — it’s about “YOU.”

So, what do you think? Share your answers here on my blog!

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
World Champion Speaker
.
P.S. LAST CHANCE to Sign Up! Finding & Honing Your Message (Friday) and Humor Boot Camp (Saturday & Sunday) with Judy Carter. Get details here!

I get emails . . .

This email came from Dale Smith, 1967 World Champion of Public Speaking.
(Shared with permission.)

Thanks, Darren!

You are so sharp and competent! I’m awed by your efficiency. How in the world do you keep so many ping-pong balls under water with just two hands?

What powerful and helpful sessions you orchestrated! I was sorry not to be around for the last one — I was teaching a Bible class in a small country church in Schochoh, KY (population about 35) at the time you were speaking, but I would have loved to have sat at your feet longer. You did help me make the drive (199 miles) back to KY safely, as I listened to your words of wisdom in the CD set I “won” as the newest Toastmaster. (Dale raised his hand when I asked who was a new Toastmaster. I gave him the prize.) Thanks a million.

Winning in Toronto has opened a lot of doors for me re: my passion of strengthening families and helping big people equip little people to reach their full potential. (www.EveryKidaWinner.com) On the other hand, I have not been as wise or effective capitalizing financially as I should have.

You are an inspiration, and more than that, a valuable guide.

Thank you so very much!

Dale

You can email Dale: smithdale2@aol.com

Master Mentor, Alan Weiss, Ph.D. says that we’re never as bad as our worst critic and not as good as our raving fans. We’ve got to be careful not to beat ourselves up — and, instead, and focus on one bad bit of feedback and also not let the ego be fed too much accolades. It is good to get them, but none of us can walk on water.

On the last day of my Australia trip while coaching a private client along with fellow speaker coach, Jennifer Leone, I had a great idea. We were sitting in her training room, and the client — I’ll call him Mr. Passion — was telling us his powerful real-life story. It was a rags-to-riches story… he was self-made and discovered that there was a cost to his success and business achievements. When I asked Mr. Passion the classic question, “When you’re finished speaking, what do you want the audience to do, think or feel?”

He gave us a good “audience-focused” answer. He still needed to add some clarity to it, but it was a good start. As you may know, I teach presenters who want to own the stage that we must “crave” feedback. We can’t just ask for it. There’s gold in the minds of the audience after our presentations. For the benefit of our future audiences, we must ‘mine’ that gold.

When people come up to you after and tell you they liked your presentation, that feels good, doesn’t it? But let’s go deeper… get specifics. If an audience member tells you they loved it, it was good, it helped — that only feeds your ego. So, how do you go deeper? Ask. What do you ask? I’m glad you asked!

Mr. Passion was telling me that, after his speeches, he’d ask people what it meant to them. That’s a great question! In our quest for specifics, we’re looking for commonalities. We know what we say, but we don’t really know what happens to that information in the minds of our audience members. If one person mentions one of your stories or principles, that’s good. If many people mention the same idea or story, KEEP IT! If you try a new story or idea and include it in several speeches — and no one mentions it — it may need to be re-evaluated.

When working on my winning speech, I discovered an awesome quote by Dr. Goddard that inspired me to include him in my speech. I gave the speech many times and no one ever mentioned it. In fact, when I started asking people what they thought of the quote, they barely remembered or they just shrugged their shoulders. That quote had to go. Sometimes we need to let go of our best lines if they don’t resonate with the audience. I eventually realized that the purpose of me discovering the quote was to inspire the speech. It served its purpose… then it was time to let it go.

So what did Mr. Passion want his audience to do, think or feel when he was finished? Well, he’s still clarifying, but I know part of it is to get people to make progress towards their goals. He was adamant about that. What should he ask to make sure he’s on track with that outcome? The same questions we ask at the end of our live Champ Camps.

#1) What was the most important part of the presentation (champ camp) to you?

#2) What will you now do differently as a result of hearing it?

Mr. Passion’s question was right on. It will help you discover what really works in your presentations, too. So, ask your audience members what parts of your speech gave them a new perspective or “ah-ha.” They’ll tell you! I asked that same question when I was getting feedback on my “Ouch!” speech.

Remember, we’re looking for commonalities. Resist the urge to jump in and defend yourself or explain. This is gold, mine it. Ask the question, and then — as an old saying from Boston goes — “Shut up!” It may be very helpful that if you’re recording yourself (Are you?) keep the recorder going at the end when you’re getting feedback. It’s a great way to capture your gold! Often people will have to ponder for a moment. Be comfortable with that silence. They’re mining for you.

I got this email this week:

Dear Darren,

I’m so pleased our paths have crossed. Thank you for your valuable input at the NSAA Convention up at the Gold Coast. You certainly inspired me – to such an extent that I bought my new video camera the next day and will soon have some videos up on YouTube. Now I know what to do!

Warm wishes,

Brenda

And another one today:

Dear Darren:

I heard you speak at NSA-IL and bought some of your materials at the luncheon in Oak Brook. I also subscribed to several of your communications which I really enjoy.

During your presentation I was floored by the wonderful video you did for a meeting planner in anticipation of their event in Vegas… I thought that was brilliant! I just submitted my own version to an association and they loved it and put it up on their LinkedIn group page!

Thank you x1000 for the great idea,

Vickie

I don’t pretend to think that everyone does something. It’s my job to set the stage for those who are committed.

If we really want to leave a lasting impression and create change, we need to know what will be different now. Will they create a new habit? Ask a loved one a question? Have a new perspective on an aspect of life?

The questions may be slightly different for your purpose. Create two questions that help you evolve your presentation. Great speeches aren’t written, they’re re-written. Your questions may change if you’re working on a new segment of your speech. For example, if you’re working on a new opening, you could ask, “Did my opening break your pre-occupation?” Let your audience help you have greater impact on future audiences.

What questions will you ask? Will you make asking them a habit?

Please share your comments below!

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
World Champion of Public Speaking
.

P.S. LAST CHANCE! Lady & the Champs on MP3… check out the new content from Patricia Fripp: How to Write a Speech. Click Here!
.

I Get Emails…

This email came to Ed about the Lady & the Champs event:

Subject: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Ed,

Saying merely a “Thank You” doesn’t even come close to how I feel. Here are all the wonderful ways last weekend’s Lady & the Champs Speakers’ Conference has blessed me:

Seeing and hearing all 4 of you was awe-inspiring. The speaking processes and styles that you demonstrated is WORLD CLASS.

Meeting many of the attendees was also thrilling. Every- one had a different reason for attending which has opened up whole new possibilities for me.

The vendors were all pro’s at their specialty. Happy to help and several even gave me ideas on how to start a speaking career.

I could easily go on and on about this life-changing — but as Patricia Fripp instilled in all of us — be pithy it’s more powerful. :)

However, I personally want to thank you for taking the time to come to the Toastmasters meeting and sharing the news about this content-rich, never-to-be-missed-again event!

Sincerely,
Rebecca 

Experience Lady & the Champs on MP3. One-time Introductory Special… ENDS TONIGHT! Click for details!

Your starting point is crucial. Where do you get the idea? Where do you look? Are you looking in the right direction? If you want more humor in your life — or in your next presentation — look at the tragedies in your life. Seriously! Choose to look at the situation from a “funny” perspective. Ask yourself, “What’s funny about that?” The answer you get might just surprise you.

Humor is a release of tension. First, find the tension, then relieve it! The other day, I was reading an email from somebody, and they had this quote by Charlie Chaplin:

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up,
but a comedy in long-shot.”

In my early days of humor studies and teaching, I had a different perspective. In the late 90′s, when first teaching the Humor Boot Camp, a camper came up to me on a break and said, “I know you’re teaching us to look at our own lives, but nothing funny ever happens to me.” My first thought was, “Do you have children?” I thought she was wrong. Funny things happen to everyone.

But, the more I studied humor, the more I realized she was absolutely right. Nothing funny happens to her because she doesn’t “see” it as funny. There aren’t “funny” things unless we see them as funny.

“Humor is in the mind of the beholder.”
~ Me

Last week I went to see Kathy Griffin’s show in Las Vegas. She’s a great performer, and the audience loved her. I didn’t laugh much. I respect her success, but my sense of humor doesn’t match hers. It doesn’t mean that she’s not funny. It means she was not funny to me.

So where do you look? Look at your tragedies. Your failures. Your frustrations. When I first read Judy Carter’s book to learn to be funny, I noticed that Judy teaches to write humor from our own frustrations. This also leads to self depreciating humor. You are making light of you. This also endears you to your audience. You’re opening up and willing to be truthful.

Darren LaCroix with his mentors, Judy Carter & Vinnie Favorito

When my comedy mentor, Vinnie Favorito, begins his nightly headliner show in Vegas, the first 10 minutes are devoted to making light of himself being from Boston and being Italian. His openness connects him to his audience and creates “permission” for him to then make light of people in his audience. His humor is direct and brutally honest. People are willing to laugh at themselves because he has already made light of himself. I’ve seen him do the same routine without those 10 minutes of self-deprecating humor, but it just didn’t work as well — even though he’s the same person doing the same routine and he’s brilliant.

Steve Allen said:

“Comedy equals tragedy plus time.”

If you suffered a recent deep tragedy, you will be better served if you wait to heal first before you talk about that one. As Charlie said, you need the “long-shot” perspective to make it funny. If you are over 20 years old, I assure you that you have plenty of humorous material if you’re willing to look for it. In my brief World Championship winning speech, “Ouch!” I covered bombing on stage, a sandwich shop business failure, my brother teasing me because he didn’t think I was funny, and being rejected when telling my parents of my dream. Lots of failures and frustrations in one short speech. It was my failures that got laughs. People can emotionally relate. That’s where the connection occurs.

So, your first step to getting laughs and moving your audience to action is to start making a list of your biggest failures. What are they? Make a list.

Don’t believe me? Humor me. Do it once and see what your audience decides.

Share your experiences here on my blog!

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
World Champion of Public Speaking

P.S. Lady & the Champs on MP3… check out the new content from Ed Tate: Manage Things, Lead People. Click Here!

I Get Emails . . .

This note comes from a first-time Lady & the Champs attendee, referring to my session on creating your first product…

Hey Darren,

I can’t tell you how valuable your breakout session was, and I’ve been watching your videos. I absolutely love how you can literally write your book while recording a live speech. I’ve never seen that before and I thought that was just plain clever and a great multi-tasking idea. I will be calling you eventually after I have fine-tuned my platform.

Ken from Utah

Experience Lady & the Champs on MP3. One-time Introductory Special! Click for details!

As many people were evaluating their own speech a seemingly unrelated topic came up. A veteran speaker asked me, “How do I compete with someone who is very entertaining and has a huge presence?” Well, number one you can’t “compete” with decades of stage time. Whether it is a professional keynote speech or in a speech competition my answer is the same. When all other factors are the same, humor wins. However, if the story is emotionally gripping and offers a powerful lesson, that will win out over humor every time.

Do they all have to be emotional gripping stories to have a good speech. No. They do, I believe, have to have emotion in them. But not “narrated” emotion, “felt” emotion.

Narrated emotion is when a presenter “says” what the actual emotion is. Example a presenters says: “So, Bob nervously picked up the bill.”

Telling us what the emotion is, is not compelling. Let us see his emotion by “the way” the character moves. Many presenters when telling their stories are up in the head “thinking” of what they are going to say next. Here is my storytelling delivery principle: If you are in your head, your emotions are dead.

So, don’t say it, let us see it.

If I could get presenters, especially in the corporate arena to identify the emotions of their characters and how that emotion changes it would instantly make them a better storyteller.

I mentioned this in a previous article, but since there are so many new subscribers I wanted to come at it again at a slightly different angle. This aspect of storytelling is worth revisiting even if you have read the previous article because it is crucial to leave a lasting impact.

If you have not seen my speech: “Ouch!” there is a story where I go home to tell my parents I want to become a comedian. Click here if you want to see it again. (The story is at the 5:24 mark.)

First list the characters in your story. In my story there are three characters.

My story diagram would look like:

Darren’s “Storytelling Secret” Diagram

I could give you the answers, but I believe it will leave more of a lasting impression on you as you identify them.

If you do this quick exercise with each of your stories, I promise you will become a better storyteller. The next step would be to have a friend watch a video of you speaking and see if a friend can identify the emotions of your characters… without hearing you speak. Meaning, turn the sound off.

That would be a fun / telling exercise. I promise.

This does not guarantee your speeches will be puffy. I’m willing to bet that they will be more compelling than they were. Have you ever identified the emotions of your characters like this? Did it help? What do you think of this idea?

Share your comments here on my blog.

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

.

P.S. Lady & the Champs Speakers’ Conference 2012 new programs include: How to Write a Speech (Fripp), Manage Things, Lead People (Ed), Mastering Back of the Room Selling (Craig), and Seriously? What Will You Speak About? (me). Check it out! Click Here!

I get emails…

Patricia Fripp forwarded this from a Lady & the Champs attendee…

Dear Patricia,

Thank you for the amazing two days. The information was so helpful in directing me in the right direction.

I am just starting to look over my notes, this was the first opportunity I have had since the training. I really loved working with all of you. It really helps everyone who learns differently. I must admit I did feel a bit overwhelmed with so much information, but that is why I came.

Best Wishes, Jan

Get the whole 2012 Lady & the Champs Conference
experience through the MP3 recordings!
One-time Introductory Special! Click for details!
.

First though, a little background. Growing up in Boston, Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith was “our” rock star. People in Boston saw his rise from the beginning and I remember hearing of him playing in the local clubs before Aerosmith “made it.” I vividly remember my big brother listening to their song “Dream on.”

Steven formed the band in 1969 and in 1972 he and his band signed with Columbia records. They released fourteen studio albums, nine of which reached platinum or multi-platinum. Whether you like him or not he achieved huge success in his chosen field. On of my favorite bits of trivia, Aerosmith did not get a US Billboard #1 Hit until 1998. It was their ballot, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” featured in the feature film, Armageddon.

Recently I was flipping through channels and came across an interview with him on Oprah’s network. Oprah had gone to his lake house to sit down with him and asked him some tough questions. His answers were honest and insightful. He spoke openly about the passing of his dad and his demons that he still battles today.

What really made me sit up and lean in was when he started talking about the contestants on American Idol, where he is now a judge. Though his antics and statements on the show are controversial, his wisdom during this interview was insightful. It came from years of experience and overcoming challenges. Sometimes we forget that our celebrities of today were people who had dreams and struggled though challenges it in years past to achieve them.

Steven Tyler said that on the show he had to run people away who have potential. He also said that many people had more talent than he did when he started. Wow. That is a statement. What really got me was when he said, “What I’m judging people on was who is the American Idol right now.” He is not judging who has potential. He is not making or breaking careers. He is simply judging who has the talent to be the best the day that he sees them.

He said, “What they need is to go back into the clubs and fall down and get up again. They fall down and learn to get up again.” What I believe he was indirectly saying was that they need to learn to grow their talent through the best teacher of all… experience. Stage time is the best teacher and confidence builder.

Personally, I believe when you go through it,
you grow through it.

People want their version 3.0 without releasing their version 1.0. I know that I became successful as a speaker because I was willing to look bad in order to get good.

Whether you are an emerging speaker, a speech contestant or someone with a dream one point in time doesn’t determine your success. It is our continued growth. Being on American Idol may help your career, but it’s not the be all end all. Winning or not winning a speech contest does not define you. It only brings clarity to one point in time. Getting a highly paid speech or losing that speech to someone else is only one point in time. It truly is our commitment to learning through experience that will determine whether we “make it” or not. If we do not get the outcome we desire, could it be we need to “go back to the clubs” and fall down again? If you are not willing to, I assure you someone else is willing to learn the lesson and get the prize.

If it took Aerosmith that many years to get a number one hit, even though they were already considered a success, what about you? What is your “hit song” or that signature story that may still be germinating inside you? Is it possible you gave up too soon? What if…

Post your comments here on my blog!

Stage Time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

.

P.S. Seriously, if you’re like me and need a little push to keep your speaking business moving (or get it started), you’ve got to see what I’ve been working on for a year. It’s being launched today! CLICK: www.GetPaidToSpeak.com

I get emails . . .

Last week, I received this email from an author who
invested in Get Paid to Speak by Next Week®:

I have spent well over $6,000 on products, coaches and classes that have got me nowhere. Darren’s Get Paid to Speak by Next Week®, is worth it’s weight in gold and only costs a fraction of the rising price of gold.

This program has moved my speaking career further ahead than anything else I have ever done. I only wish I had known about this product years ago.

Thank you Darren!
Laurie-Ann Murabito
Professional Speaker, Coach & Author of
Rethink Leadership, 4 Lessons To Make You Remarkable

This week I was listing to one of my favorite pastors, Vince. He gave a powerful message on influence through intimacy. As my mind often does, it shifted to my coaching brain to help presenters connect with their audience. Vince’s point and story reminded me of a powerful quote from comedian, Dick Doherty when I interviewed him about making people laugh. He said,

“Intimacy is the act of telling another human being the truth about yourself
and risking rejection. Without the risk there is no real acceptance.”

Darren at his first "real" stand-up comedy show with headliner, Dick Doherty.

Wow. That takes time to fully digest. On a personal level as well as a presenter’s level. We are so caught up in looking good to our audience, we sometime to forget to just, be.

When I re-listened to that interview, it hit home even deeper. At that point in my comedy career I was still figuring out who I was on stage. Often times called your persona. Dick, though his years of wisdom had said to me that he noticed a big change in me. He had noticed that I made a shift. Though my personal commitment to constant stage time, I made a break though. On stage I came closer to be who I really was, instead of who I wanted to be in their eyes.

Dick said that once people reach a certain level of competency, it then becomes just a matter of preference. For example, is Bill Cosby funnier than Jeff Foxworthy? One may be funnier to you than the other, but that is just a matter of opinion. They are both funny. They both have loyal fan bases. At that level it is not really a matter of being better. Though he was talking about comedians, it is the same as speaking. Is Mark Brown a better speaker than Patricia Fripp? It depends. It depends on your preference.

At the beginning, our goal should be to reach that level of competency and continue to grow from there. Continue to become more intimate with ourselves, in which that will transfer to connecting with the audience. A deeper truth to who we are, rather than who we want our audience to think we are, will lead to more influence.

Dick had noticed I was more likeable when I was willing to show who I really was and not who I wanted my audience to think I was.

Would you like to influence people more than you are now? Well, are you willing to be more intimate? Are you willing to risk rejection?

Share your thoughts and see comments from others below!

Stage Time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

.

P.S. I’m getting excited about the Lady & the Champs Speakers’ Conference in February! If we get 300 registrations, fellow World Champ, Ed Tate, will jump off the top of the Stratosphere! (They have a “bungee” type jump.) Craig, Fripp, and I told him, “We’ll just watch from the bottom!” Join us! Click here!

P.P.S. Want more insight from Dick Doherty? Click here!

I Get Emails . . .

.
Hello, Darren:

I do not often write comments (or complaints) on products I buy; however, I feel excited enough that it warrants a “thank you.”

I had just made a presentation to the Governor Kiwanis club about a Toastmasters club that I am attempting to start in the community. Everyone, including myself, felt very positive at the end.

The first piece of advice was from one of your on-line videos which discussed researching the organization one is speaking to. I feel that doing the research did in fact help me connect with them at the very start.

Recently, I purchased a number of your products from your website, which included the book, Speaker’s EDGE. I read (and then studied) your chapter on “Connecting With An Unknown Audience” and Ed Tate’s chapter, “Internalize Not Memorize.”

Upon arrival, I introduced myself to as many attending members and guests, and talked with them prior to the start of the meeting and incorporated some of the information into my presentation. Unfortunately, there was no truck-driving simulator. (Click here to see the video he’s referencing.)

I followed Ed Tate’s advice about internalizing the presentation instead of memorizing it. I feel that it helped the flow of my message. I suppose that since I have been a Toastmaster for about 5 years, I know enough about the organization that internalizing the presentation was easier. Although, I did miss a few “planned” points of information, and my 15-20 minutes of “planned” material resulted in only 10 minutes of presentation, I felt that I was successful in informing the audience (audience was still happy).

Now to work on my Contest speech as I continue to read Speaker’s EDGE. Feel free to quote me, if you wish.

Thank you, again.

D.J. Henderson, Jr., Redwood, NY
Member: Watertown (NY) Toastmasters
Member: Akwesasne Toastmasters
Sponsor: Gouverneur (NY) Toastmasters

.
What’s the Speaker’s EDGE book? Click here!

.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix, World Champion Speaker

P.S. Like Quotes?  Want me to send you a daily dose of inspiration each day? Get my favorite Inspirational Quotes.