This week I was listing to one of my favorite pastors, Vince. He gave a powerful message on influence through intimacy. As my mind often does, it shifted to my coaching brain to help presenters connect with their audience. Vince’s point and story reminded me of a powerful quote from comedian, Dick Doherty when I interviewed him about making people laugh. He said,

“Intimacy is the act of telling another human being the truth about yourself
and risking rejection. Without the risk there is no real acceptance.”

Darren at his first "real" stand-up comedy show with headliner, Dick Doherty.

Wow. That takes time to fully digest. On a personal level as well as a presenter’s level. We are so caught up in looking good to our audience, we sometime to forget to just, be.

When I re-listened to that interview, it hit home even deeper. At that point in my comedy career I was still figuring out who I was on stage. Often times called your persona. Dick, though his years of wisdom had said to me that he noticed a big change in me. He had noticed that I made a shift. Though my personal commitment to constant stage time, I made a break though. On stage I came closer to be who I really was, instead of who I wanted to be in their eyes.

Dick said that once people reach a certain level of competency, it then becomes just a matter of preference. For example, is Bill Cosby funnier than Jeff Foxworthy? One may be funnier to you than the other, but that is just a matter of opinion. They are both funny. They both have loyal fan bases. At that level it is not really a matter of being better. Though he was talking about comedians, it is the same as speaking. Is Mark Brown a better speaker than Patricia Fripp? It depends. It depends on your preference.

At the beginning, our goal should be to reach that level of competency and continue to grow from there. Continue to become more intimate with ourselves, in which that will transfer to connecting with the audience. A deeper truth to who we are, rather than who we want our audience to think we are, will lead to more influence.

Dick had noticed I was more likeable when I was willing to show who I really was and not who I wanted my audience to think I was.

Would you like to influence people more than you are now? Well, are you willing to be more intimate? Are you willing to risk rejection?

Share your thoughts and see comments from others below!

Stage Time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

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P.S. I’m getting excited about the Lady & the Champs Speakers’ Conference in February! If we get 300 registrations, fellow World Champ, Ed Tate, will jump off the top of the Stratosphere! (They have a “bungee” type jump.) Craig, Fripp, and I told him, “We’ll just watch from the bottom!” Join us! Click here!

P.P.S. Want more insight from Dick Doherty? Click here!

I Get Emails . . .

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Hello, Darren:

I do not often write comments (or complaints) on products I buy; however, I feel excited enough that it warrants a “thank you.”

I had just made a presentation to the Governor Kiwanis club about a Toastmasters club that I am attempting to start in the community. Everyone, including myself, felt very positive at the end.

The first piece of advice was from one of your on-line videos which discussed researching the organization one is speaking to. I feel that doing the research did in fact help me connect with them at the very start.

Recently, I purchased a number of your products from your website, which included the book, Speaker’s EDGE. I read (and then studied) your chapter on “Connecting With An Unknown Audience” and Ed Tate’s chapter, “Internalize Not Memorize.”

Upon arrival, I introduced myself to as many attending members and guests, and talked with them prior to the start of the meeting and incorporated some of the information into my presentation. Unfortunately, there was no truck-driving simulator. (Click here to see the video he’s referencing.)

I followed Ed Tate’s advice about internalizing the presentation instead of memorizing it. I feel that it helped the flow of my message. I suppose that since I have been a Toastmaster for about 5 years, I know enough about the organization that internalizing the presentation was easier. Although, I did miss a few “planned” points of information, and my 15-20 minutes of “planned” material resulted in only 10 minutes of presentation, I felt that I was successful in informing the audience (audience was still happy).

Now to work on my Contest speech as I continue to read Speaker’s EDGE. Feel free to quote me, if you wish.

Thank you, again.

D.J. Henderson, Jr., Redwood, NY
Member: Watertown (NY) Toastmasters
Member: Akwesasne Toastmasters
Sponsor: Gouverneur (NY) Toastmasters

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What’s the Speaker’s EDGE book? Click here!

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Darren LaCroix, World Champion Speaker

P.S. Like Quotes?  Want me to send you a daily dose of inspiration each day? Get my favorite Inspirational Quotes.

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Darren LaCroix, Speaking business coach

P.S. Want my best Get Paid to Speak Tips? No charge.

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Darren LaCroix

P.S.  Want my best Get Paid to Speak tips?  No charge.

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Darren LaCroix

P.S. Want my best Get Paid to Speak Tips?

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Darren LaCroix

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Last week when I was in Kansas City preparing to present to a group of professional National Seminar Trainers. As I walked down the hallway with Steve, who was running the event, I asked him for the second time, what was the one main point you want people to walk away with from my presentation? He confidently and without hesitation said, “Be open to change.”

Their conference theme was, Unite. Evolve. Succeed. It was a great event and I was impressed with the people, the meeting room and the way the whole event was run, first-class. Always looking for examples from my experience that the audience can relate to, I brought up watching the movie, Stripes, with my nephews and how even Hollywood changes the way it tells stories today compared to years ago when I was young. I also referenced how the old speaking business model from twenty years ago is no longer viable to anyone accept celebrities. We must change with the times or we will be left behind. Do you still have a rotary phone? Those with the ability to adapt will thrive.

My own new year’s resolutions have been at the top of my mind. So, with my desire to meet the event planner’s goal, along with tying my message into the conference theme, and Craig Valentine’s voice in the back of my head, “No phrase, no stage” I focused. What popped into my head was, Resolve to evolve. It felt right.

I realized part of that idea came from a book Ed Tate gave me that I was reading on the plane a week before, Everything Counts by Gary Ryan Blair. In this book was a powerful quote from James Dyson who created the world’s first “bagless” vacuum cleaner and though most manufactures turned him down, he finally sold the 5,127th prototype:

“There is a myth about inventors that all you need is one good idea and you’ll make a fortune. It doesn’t work like that. You start with a problem and you start building prototypes — hundreds or thousands of prototypes. The final solution never looks like your first idea. Failure is the starting point. You start looking for why it failed and you can start thinking about ideas to overcome that failure.”

~ James Dyson

That’s just brilliant! As Blair points out in his book, we tend to celebrate the instant success, and what Dyson is saying is that we should celebrate the person who persists and keeps creating new prototypes that fix the problems of the one before them. The success lies in the resolving to evolve until all the failures are worked out of it. I love when he points out that the final prototype doesn’t even look close to the first one. I’d like to point out that without the first one, there would be no 5,127th.

Often, we see master storytellers and become jealous of the stories that happen to them. Have you ever thought,“I wish something like that would happen to me!”? Maybe it has. Maybe you just didn’t see it. You aren’t seeing that storyteller’s experience, you’re seeing a well-told story that represents their experience. We are just seeing/hearing the final prototype that the presenter resolved to evolve.

I was shocked when I first came to Toastmasters to work on my comedy and saw people looking at their speeches as failures. They would give a speech, get feedback, and then go write a new speech. This seemed so odd to me coming, from the comedy world. Great jokes aren’t written, they’re re-written. Great speeches aren’t written, they are re-written.

In the comedy world, when I tested a new story — if even just one person in the back of the room gave me half a laugh at the time I intended — I would celebrate. It meant that I got a desired result. All I had to do now was make it “clearer” to everyone else.

Whenever I present my Own the Stage program live, I always ask audience members to raise their hand if they’ve ever written a world-class speech. A confident hand goes up… often, one person with a funny self-effacing comment followed by a few giggles resonating through the meeting room. Most don’t raise their hands. Then I point out that most Toastmasters write a speech, get feedback, and then write a new speech — meaning that instead of creating a new prototype, they start trying to solve a completely new problem.

While working on my “Ouch!” speech, I wrote it, gave it, got feedback, and re-wrote it to correct a failure or two. Thenk I would give it again, get feedback, and re-write it correcting another failure or two. I did this 22 times. Then, I tell my audience, “Maybe you have written a world-class speech. Maybe you just haven’t finished it yet.”

This isn’t just about presentations, it’s also about the person you are. I hope you have evolved from the person you were 20 years ago. Will you correct some of the character flaws you have now, to be a better person tomorrow? I loved it when I heard the publisher of Success Magazine, Darren Hardy, speak. He mentioned the type of woman he wanted to attract. He said that instead of focusing on her. He focused on becoming the kind of man that would attract that type of person. She also has exactly the man she wanted. Wow.

In my opinion, your life and presentations are both like a Dyson vacuum cleaner. The only question is… Are you going to live with the prototype you have, or are you already working on the next prototype?

Will you resolve to evolve?

Share your comments here on my blog!

Stage Time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

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P.S. What do you care enough about that you will resolve to evolve?

I Get Emails…

Here’s a response to the bonus program
I did on “YouTube” at NSA KC last weekend.

OMG!!!! I am on fire! I put a mini intro on my YouTube Channel… found out that I already have Movie Maker… Woo hoo! I am making a bagillion movies and pulling packages together!

You were awesome… and you made everything doable and easy!!!!!

Thanks for blessing us with… YOU!!!!!
Candy Whirley, NSA KC

Interested in the YouTube program? Click here!

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During one of our holiday gatherings, I found myself in a fun & healthy conversation with a fellow Catholic I’ll call, Mr. Jovial. He was having fun and in a good mood, when someone mentioned how the church was packed on Christmas with people who never usually attend. They’re sometimes referred to as Christmas and Easter Only or Chr-easters.

Mr. Jovial’s happy mood quickly went sour, and he began ranting, “Where are they the rest of the year?” Ouch! I got up and left the conversation.

It bothers me when people who attend church, think that going on a regular basis makes them more religious. People who are “Christians” are not supposed to be “judging” others. That’s exactly what Mr. Jovial was doing. Many family members who come from out of town for the holiday are not there the rest of the year. We also don’t know everyone’s story and personal journey. So it’s important to be careful when we make assumptions.

I wasn’t happy and I walked away upset. I didn’t want to be part of that conversation. Though usually quiet, I was afraid of what I might have said. When I get upset, I can tend to be brutally honest… then the thought hit me.

“Crap!” (Sorry, but that was my honest thought.) I usually don’t talk like that in my articles, but it seems appropriate this time. I realized that I was judging Mr. Jovial for judging others! I was no better than him in this situation. I suppose many of us are hypocrites at times. Have you ever been? Ever caught yourself that way? Let me know on my blog if you’re willing to admit it.

When I realized my own error, a peaceful feeling came over me. I learned my lesson, I let go of my frustration, and just smiled. Our thoughts can give a different filter in which to see our own environment.

Share your comments here on my blog.

Stage Time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

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P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

P.P.S. 48-HOUR SPECIAL! 40% OFF!
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*Special is only good for 48 hours from when this email hit your in-box. It cannot be combined with other discounts or codes, and it is good only on my products.

I Get Emails . . .

Here’s what Omana had to say about www.365Inspirationalquotes.com:

Before subscribing to your ‘Inspirational quotes,’ I thought… ‘Who wants to read another useless email in the morning!’ Today’s quote is the 232nd quote from you. By now, the first email I open in the morning is your quote. That sets the tone of my mind for the day.

I realized that…

Everyone knows lots of quotes, knows lots of prayers and psalms and spiritual stuff, but they are all sitting in some part of their head. To reach your mind at the right time through ears or eyes, you need someone else. 

That’s what our fellow Toastmaster, Darren, is doing. Thank you, Darren!

God bless you,
Omana

Want to make 2012 your year? Click here!

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Whether you are telling a simple story to a friend or a more formal story from the platform the principles are the same. During my Speakers School and Champ Camps I usually dissect a simple story from my speech: “Ouch!” If you have never seen it or would like a refresher to see my point, click here. (The story is at 5:24 mark.)

It is one of my signature stories where I go home to tell my parents I want to become a comedian. It is a simple and yet powerful 17-second story. I worked painstakingly to hone that story down to that be that concise. How could I have done it with faster and with less effort? Simple. If I just realized where the true power of a story lies. Here is a powerful tool for you. Look at your stories and lay out this simple diagram. First list the characters in your story. In my story there are three characters.

My story diagram would look like:

Darren’s “Storytelling Secret” Diagram

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This will only take a few moments and a little thought, but it will help your storytelling immeasurably. Next identify the beginning emotion of your characters and the ending emotion of each character. During my programs I have my students call out the emotions. Though the answers vary, the typical answers I get look like this.

Darren’s “Storytelling Secret” Diagram

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What do you notice about this diagram? There should be one thing that may look obvious, but most presenters never consider in their storytelling. The change of emotion of the characters. In this story each of the emotion changes. Keep in mind it is only a seventeen second story!

Darren’s “Storytelling Secret” Diagram

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The emotion of every character does not have to change. Remember this though, “If the emotion of at least one character does not change, there is no story!”

I challenge you to sit down and watch a video of yourself telling one of your best stories. Watch it with the sound off, and ask yourself, “Can I see the emotion of the character?” Even more importantly, “Can I clearly see the change of emotion?” Sitting down to identify emotions and the change of emotions will go a long way to helping you tell better stories. If you are a Toastmaster, why not have someone evaluate you on exactly that?

The power of the story is in the change. Look at Hollywood blockbusters. At the beginning of the film we are introduced to the main character and his/her flaws. By the conclusion of the movie there has been a dramatic change. Most of the time the value or presentations lies in the change of perspective we give our audience members.

If you want to tell better stories, take a few moments to identify the emotions of your characters and especially the change of emotion. Then make sure your audience can see it and more importantly feel it. Will you use it? Can you see where this would change how you tell your stories?

Share your comments here on my blog.

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

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P.S. If you liked this article, you’ll love the “Become a Speaking STAR!” program. The insight from this article comes from my session, “Make ‘em Memorable! Storytelling Secrets Most Speakers Overlook.” Plus, you’ll get wisdom from Patricia Fripp, Content Creation from Craig Valentine, 3-D Storytelling from Mark Brown, and Ed Tate‘s techniques for Overcoming the Little Voices in Your Head! One-Time Intro Special ends TONIGHT! December 31st! Click here!

P.P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Posted on Facebook . . .

I just wanted to say that your Speaker School boot camp was one of the most valuable boot camps I have ever been to. Your tips and techniques INSTANTLY transformed my speeches. I feel I can move forward again. THANK YOU SO MUCH for adding value to my life. You will see me at future events for sure!

Eric Castaneda

Want to make 2012 your year? Click here!
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Stories are the “anchors” to our points. Some stories may have multiple points buried in them, some more specific points. They are crucial to keeping our audience’s interest. So, if stories are the heart of our presentations, if we want to create new presentations or enhance proven presentations, the key is to have more stories to choose from. If you have been learning from me or the other Champs, you may already know that we profess to having a story file. You story file is just a simple word document placed on your computer desktop where you collect and organize your stories. The reason we keep it on our desk top is a constant and subtle reminder to be constantly seeking stories.

The key to the story file is developing the “habit” of collecting them. We want to keep entering them a simple process. If it becomes too much work, we will not do it. It is important to note that you do not write out the whole story. You just want to capture specific details words and/or dialogue that will help you tell the story later. Here are some examples mine:

Example of some of my postings in my story file:

#1 Little Old Lady and the Craps Table (Learning Something New):

• Fundraiser, living in Vegas always wondering
• Watching, asking questions, but not playing
• Arthritis hands, scowl on face, wouldn’t leave me alone
• “Get in the game, you’ll learn faster!”

#2 Lunch with Rudy, RUDY LESSONS (What is Stopping You):

• Had to have 4 things to get into ND. (I had none).
• Class Rank * SAT & ACTS * 40 yard dash in certain time * Had to have a team position
• He bought! Within a couple days of him getting letter.

#3 The Proposal (How do you follow that? New Challenges):

• Following Sally Hogshead – Proposal Following (not funny, tough connection, let go)
• (My line: amazing she hired an actor to get a standing O)

When we come up with new ideas and techniques I always want to let you know about them. That is the reason for this article. As you may know, I continue to learn from Patricia Fripp, my fellow World Champs and especially Craig Valentine. When on a conference call with Craig we spoke about adding foundational phrases (repeatable memorable message from stories) to story files. Whether you incorporate your foundational phrases into your story file or start a separate foundational phrase file, it is your choice.

Examples of my foundational phrases in my story file:

• “When you shortcut the process, you shortcut your results”
• “Your ‘first time’ is your key to making it easier for life time.”
• “If you take away my struggle, you take away my growth.”
• “If you are in your head, your emotions are dead.”
• “Touch your list, don’t let it get cold and old!”
• “Skill set, without mindset, will leave your audience upset.”
  (Craig Valentine and I created that one together.)

You may put your foundational phrases with each story, as well as, list them as the top one right after the other. Constantly update your phrases and stories. Though you may always have your core stories that you use often, the more you have to choose from the easier it will be to evolve your presentations and yourself.

As I learned from Hall of Fame Speaker, Patricia Fripp, this is the best time of the year to be on the look out for stories. She points out that the stories that we tell over and over with friends and family are the same ones we would be should be telling from the stage. We know these stories so well and the reason we retell them when we are together is they are good and usually humorous too. The reason we sometimes take their power for granted is because we forget that our audience members will relate emotionally to “family” stories and characters. Be on the look out and collect some this weekend!

Having a story/foundational phrase file is one of the most powerful tools you can have and it is free! The most powerful tools we have are the ones we use. Do you have a story file? Do you have a foundational phrase file? Do you have a combo? Do you like the idea of a foundational phrase file? Will you create one? Will you use it? Please let me know.

Share your comments here on my blog.

Stage time,

Darren LaCroix
2001 World Champion of Public Speaking

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P.S. Use family & friend events to collect your best stories to use them in your presentations!

P.P.S. HAPPY HUMOROUS HOLIDAYS from Darren, Chey, and Eden!

I get emails . . .

Hi Darren,

I purchased your program, “Get Paid to Speak by Next Week” and just completed it. I have to say that it is really a great program. It helped me have a clear vision on what I have to do next.

All the best,
Tarek Said

Want to make 2012 your year? Click here!

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